What Kind Of Birthday Cake Should I Get...?

I am allergic to all dairy, most fruits, all wheats, oats, seeds, nuts, corn, potato, starch, rice, vanilla, all syrups, honey, canola oil, peanut ingredients, starch, yeast, soy, gluten, gran, pumpkin, bananas, anything coated with preservatives, all ices, and flavorings, but I MUST have a piece of birthday cake. What won't I be allergic to?